“St. Anne, St. Anne, send me a man as fast as you can!”, Did anyone else hear this short prayer growing up? Well, I personally learned this prayer from my Great Aunt when I was pretty young, and much to my surprise, I found out recently St. Anne was NOT short for St. Anthony, and now my inability to find missing things is making a lot more sense. (She also taught me, “St. Tony, St. Tony, this ain’t no bologna, help me find _” hence my confusion). So why do I bring up this short yet hilarious misunderstanding of mine? Well, as I thought and prayed about how to begin sharing my experience with long-distance dating, St. Anne’s intercession seems to be the only fitting way to begin. Why? Because St. Anne led me to love, and continues to help me to this day.
Last summer, when discerning the possibility of dating with my newly felt desires, I felt absolutely lost. I had never been on a date. I had never experienced a crush to this extent, let alone one on a Catholic male friend. Oh yeah … not to mention I was on a dating fast AND he was seriously discerning the priesthood (the plot thickenssss). I wasn’t sure where to turn for guidance as I wanted to honor the dating fast, and soon began to find my only place of solace to be prayer. As the summer went on, my experience of waiting, hoping, and trying to learn prudence each day was like no purification I have ever experienced, and when I left our joint location for three days, I was dumbfounded with how to return well. Over the course of eight weeks I realized I desired this relationship so fully, that surrendering control and purifying my intentions had become an excruciatingly beautiful process. Thankfully, when I reached this extend of longing, St. Anne knew just how to help.
No, I did not see St. Anne in a vision, and I did not speak to her directly, but when I reached my breaking point, I found her in prayer, Instagram scrolling, and as I woke up in the middle of the night before returning to our summer location. I felt her presence heavily, which was a crazy experience considering I knew almost nothing about her. I read of her life, the longing she experienced, the devout trust and humility she held, and the ways she was gifted beyond her imagination with Mary through total surrender. So, after feeling led to begin the St. Anne novena – which I fought for a few hours because praying for a boyfriend was NOT something I was about to do – I decided I would ask for her intercession that “if we were meant to date Ben, he would have the courage to pursue me, and I would have the grace and peace to receive whatever level of relationship (whether friendship or dating) would be the Lord’s will.” I also prayed we would have a clarifying conversation and leave the summer on the same page.
Over the days of the novena, the Lord, with the help of St. Anne, continually revealed corners of my heart I didn’t even know existed. My heart endured a suffering ache that brought more purification of love than I thought I could ever experience. To answer the question you’re all asking, no, Ben did not ask me on a date or seek me out intentionally as I may have hoped. Rather, St. Anne taught me the importance of learning to authentically will the ultimate good of another and to lean into the painful purification of surrendering control while trusting the Lord with even our deepest desires. After I finished my novena, two things happened.
- I united my suffering to Christ in full surrender and learned indifference, and was filled with immense peace when having my clarifying conversation with Ben.
- St. Anne helped fill me with peace beyond my power to accept the simple pursuit of Ben for what it would be. (and much to my surprise and hope, was that of a dating relationship)
My novena to St. Anne did not give me a boyfriend, but rather taught me to go firstly to Jesus and trust Him completely with everything. The pain and purification women experience while waiting is a very real experience, but united to Christ, it can change the very being of one’s heart. I now know this from experience thanks to St. Anne. Her intercession prepared me not for just one moment of joy in being chosen, but to turn to Jesus in every new season of waiting within Ben and I’s relationship and beyond.
So maybe instead of praying for a man as fast as you can get one, you could say “St. Anne, St. Anne, prepare my heart to know and love a man as I wait in this season of longing”. (and don’t forget to pray to St. Anne, not St. Anthony 😉 )
All my love and prayers,
Monica +JMJ+
RESOURCES:
Hi Monica!